Eavesdropping On a Bicker
by 229442486847
Summary: Lavi and Lenalee want to train and are about to ask Allen to join. When they arrive in front of their friend's room, not only Allen's moans are heard, but also Kanda's voice. The two, ridden by curiosity, listen in on what is happening inside. One Shot


Okay… Even though I'm not a huge fan of Yullen, I wrote this as a Thank-You for **MrsRhapsodos **for dedicating a funny picture to me on deviantART. When I say I'm not a huge fan of KandaxAllen, I mean that I am a huge Laven fan, but that I still don't mind writing or reading Yullen instead. Anyway, I hope you like it, Rhap-chan! :D

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– **Eavesdropping On a Bicker –**

For once it was silent in the Black Order's usually agitated headquarters. There weren't any missions to be completed, no evil akuma were attacking helpless villages and towns and even the science department wasn't being rampaged by one of Komui's lunatic robots. How did everyone spend their time during this peaceful day? Lenalee and Lavi had decided to train a little, since they wanted to use their time for something useful. They were searching for Allen and Kanda in order to be able to train in a larger group, which would have been more efficient. So Lavi and Lenalee were headed towards Allen's room, knowing the white-haired exorcist would happily agree to train with them. Kanda though was a different story.

"Ne, Lenalee," Lavi mumbled when they had almost reached their younger friend's room, "why does Yuu get angry easier around Allen?"

The Chinese girl shot the redhead an inquiring look, before replying. "I think he just can't handle Allen's naïve and optimistic way of managing things at times. He's more of a pessimist, I think that's why." She smiled, knowing that deep down – really deep down – Kanda cared for his comrades and would protect them with his life.

The two fellow exorcists soon stood in front of Allen's door, Lavi raising his hand, about to knock, but suddenly voices from inside reached their ears.

_"It's so wet."_ That was definitely Allen talking.

_"Stop squirming around, bean sprout. It'll only hurt more."_ And that was most likely Kanda, his voice sounding as annoyed as ever.

_"Why did I have to take my pants off anyway?"_ Allen asked.

Kanda released an exasperated sigh in response. _"This wouldn't work if you still had your pants on."_

A small shriek coming from Allen rang out, followed by his several moans of displease.

"What the heck are they doing in there?" Lavi asked in a low voice.

_"K-Kanda, it hurts,"_ Allen gasped out. _"Take it away."_

_"I told you not to move, moron."_

Lenalee shook her head, not knowing herself. "I… don't know. It almost sounds as if…"

Suddenly a thud from inside reached their ears and the sound of something rolling along the floor echoed.

_"Idiot bean sprout!"_ Kanda snapped. _"Stop moving around so much! You have to wait for the pain to cease!"_

_"Should I do this to you, huh? Then you'll see how much something like this hurts!" _Allen seemed to be really angry at whatever Kanda was doing to him.

_"It's your own fault for running around being so damn wet!"_ the Japanese teen retorted.

Lavi's face contorted into a look of utter confusion. "What the…"

_"Let's just get this over with," _the younger exorcist mumbled grumpily._ "I can't stand looking at your face for too long."_

A low groan was heard coming from Kanda._ "I find it impossible to believe that I'm actually touching you. You're cursed and on top of that, you're the most annoying human being walking this earth."_

_"Oh, my apologies for not being a professional idiot like you are."_

Another of the Japanese exorcist's snarls echoed from within the room, Lavi and Lenalee growing more agitated with each second passing, ears tightly pressed to the wooden door.

Allen's sudden scream ricocheted from inside the room's walls, slightly startling the two teens listening in on the conversation.

_"BaKanda!"_ Allen roared. _"Are you hurting me intentionally?"_

_"I might be."_

Lavi and Lenalee could easily imagine the glare Allen should have been sending Kanda.

Again, Kanda's voice rang out. _"Here. Take this."_

_"Eh? But it looks gross!"_

_"Just put it in your damn mouth, bean sprout!"_

Allen snarled, but seemed to comply, since Kanda released a short laugh. After the sound of Allen shifting around on what must have been a bed, his sudden coughing filled the room. _"What the hell is this? It's disgusting."_ The teen made a few noises of disgust before continuing his rant._ "I think I'll have to wash my mouth with acid later!"_

_"Don't be such a wimp and just suck it up."_

Beyond the door, Lenalee released a small screech, blood suddenly pouring out of her nose. "They're really doing it," she whispered in a low voice.

Beside her, Lavi frantically nodded at her words. "I can't believe Allen is doing this! I mean Yuu… Okay, I barely believe him doing this, but with Allen out of all people…"

"I know!" The Chinese girl seemed almost excited.

Inside the room, Allen sucked in a breathe. _"I can't believe I drank it all up. What was that anyway?"_

The redhead outside was excitedly shifting from one foot to the other. "Allen doesn't even know what Kanda is making him do," he whispered. "I always thought that Kanda was kinky, but this…"

_"Kanda,"_ Allen whined, a small hiss leaving his mouth, _"aren't you finished yet? I'm getting tired and hungry."_

The Japanese teen only snarled. _"If I don't do this __now__, __someone__ will bother me all day about it later!"_

_"But… But I don't want this! I never asked you for it!"_

"Oh my god," Lavi exclaimed quietly. "Is Kanda raping Allen?"

_"Stop it already, Kanda!"_

_"No."_

A few thuds followed, accompanied by Allen's hisses of pain and his ragged pants.

Worry started to show up on Lenalee's face. "We need to do something!"

_"S-Stop… Kanda…"_

"I've heard enough." With that, Lavi grabbed the doorknob and turned it to swing open the wooden door. "Yuu, stop hurting–" He was interrupted by the sight before him, as was Lenalee.

There were Kanda and Allen, the younger teen sitting on the bed and the black-haired exorcist kneeling in front of him. Allen didn't have his pants on and only his boxers were covering his lower region, while Kanda was holding the other's right leg. Both of them were sending confused looks at their comrades standing in the door in a dumbfounded manner.

"What are you two doing?" Kanda asked, while shooting the two intruders a venomous glare.

For a moment, Lavi didn't know what to answer to that. "I-I wanted to ask you the same thing."

A grumble left the Japanese teen before he answered. "The stupid bean sprout ran around outside while it was raining, tripped cause he was soaked and told me to help him into his room because I was the only person around."

"My name's 'Allen', you soba-addicted idiot!" said white-haired teen exclaimed angrily.

Kanda didn't even spare a glance at the other. "Whatever. Then he begged–"

"I didn't beg, you moron!"

"…me to bandage his sprained ankle and complained the whole time."

By now Allen was fuming, sending a heated glare at the older exorcist, crossing his arms over his chest and having sported a deep blush on his cheeks. "There wasn't anyone else and I always slipped on the floor, so I couldn't make it to my room by myself."

"And why exactly did Yuu help you?" Lavi inquired. "I would've expected him to just leave you there."

"If I hadn't done it, either she," Kanda sent a pointed glare towards Lenalee still standing next to the redhead, "would have bugged me about it for days, or Komui would have made me do something troublesome like apologizing or something."

_Komui would?_ Lavi mused. "Well… then you were nice for once?"

"No," Kanda replied coldly. "But now that you are here, you two can continue nursing his damn ankle." Silently, the raven-haired teen left the room in a rush, his emotionless features never changing.

"I hate him," Allen mumbled as soon as Kanda was out of hear-shot.

"Now Allen…" Lavi uttered, approaching the white-haired teen with a mischievous gleam in his emerald eye, "how did you get Yuu to strip you, help you here, give you medicine," He picked up the empty cup, that Kanda had given the teen previously, from Allen's nightstand, "and not slice off your head?"

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Ha hah! This is what I call one of my rare 'lazy OSs'. I start writing it, but don't really feel the need to finish it soon. I sometimes write a few paragraphes for it, some only a few sentences long and some making up large parts of the story (I wrote half of this yesterday), and then finish it within a week anyway XD. Not much effort, but I'm still satisfied with the outcome it.

In case anyone likes the pairing AllenxDebitto or AllenxJasdebi, then go to my profile and give me a vote on my poll, so I know if I should write a lemon to it ;D.

Thanks for reading! :D

Benze ;P


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